How to Handle Difficult Situations

So much of what trips us up, in business and in life, is what happens after a difficult situation. We replay the conversation, turn the problem over and over in our head, wonder what we should have said or done differently, and wait to feel resolved before we take action.

The problem is, sometimes all that thinking keeps us stuck.

In this conversation, I sit down with Nancy Quinn of Profit Insiders Coaching to talk about how to get out of your head when difficult situations arise and respond with more grace and confidence.

Nancy knows something about navigating challenges and starting over. Her life has included open-heart surgery with her newborn, two years of home quarantine with a toddler long before COVID, and rebuilding her business after a divorce while supporting three children. Through those experiences, she learned that challenges are inevitable, but growth is a choice.

We talk about resilience, the role our mindset plays when things feel difficult, and why having the right people around you can make such a difference. Whether that support comes from a coach, peers, or a community of people who understand what you are facing, we do not have to figure everything out in our own heads.

If you have ever caught yourself running the same worry in a loop, replaying what happened, or waiting until you feel completely settled before moving forward, this conversation may help you look at what happens next a little differently.

GUEST BIO

Nancy Quinn is the founder of Profit Insiders Coaching, where she helps interior designers turn their creative talent into profitable, sustainable businesses.

Many designers are amazing at what they do but find themselves exhausted and underpaid. Nancy helps them address the pricing, systems, and mindset issues that may be holding them back so they can finally make real money doing what they love.

Her own experiences rebuilding her life and career more than once have shaped her belief in resilience, growth, and the importance of community. Today, she approaches her work with a simple mindset: “Your success is my success.” Every time she helps a designer find greater clarity, confidence, or profitability, she is living out the purpose behind her work.

Let's talk through what's holding you back. Schedule your free Clarity Call at:
 https://profitinsiderscoaching.com/book-a-call/

Grab one (or more!) of Profit Insiders Coaching’s Free Resources at:
 https://profitinsiderscoaching.com/free-resources/

Want to get in touch with Nancy? Here’s how:

Website: https://profitinsiderscoaching.com
Email: info@profitinsiderscoaching.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NancyQuinnCoach
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nancyquinncoach/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nancyquinncoach

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey there and welcome to Conversations Worth Your While. It's a podcast where we dig into ideas and insights to help you to unleash what you were born to bring. I chat with heart-led experts, I ask the questions that you're thinking about, and we explore conversations that spark growth, that shift perspectives, and that help you to show up fully in your life, in your career, and in your community. Today we are exploring how to handle difficult situations in business. Because so much of what trips us up, and not only in business, but also in life, is how we stay stuck in our own head during these difficult situations. We turn it over, we replay it, we're always waiting to feel resolved before we take action. But if you've ever caught yourself stuck like that, running that same worry in a loop in your head, this one is for you because in today's conversation, we will share how to get out of your head and respond with confidence and grace. I'm your host, Linda Booker. And if the life you are in no longer fits, this space is for you. Because through coaching and my podcast, I guide purpose-driven people to reconnect to who they truly are, to let go of what they've outgrown, to rediscover their gifts, and create a life that feels aligned and deeply impactful. And so if that sparks something within you, you can find me at lyndabooker.com. Once again, the topic of today's conversation is how to handle difficult situations in business. And today I have the pleasure of being joined by Nancy Quinn of Profit Insider's Coaching. And Nancy's making her own beautiful ripples in her own unique way. Nancy has rebuilt her life a bunch of times, more than she said she liked to count. And now she helps interior designers to do the same with their businesses. She helps them fix their pricing, their systems, and she helps them with the confidence gaps that keep the talented designers exhausted and underpaid. And she does a whole lot more than that. So, Nancy, can you uh yeah, well, first of all, thank you for being here with us today on Conversations With Your While. And then I'm hoping you could share a little bit more about what you do and who you do it for.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for having me, Linda. I really appreciate it. I love sharing the message and getting as much confidence-building skills out there into the world because I think it's something that really a lot of people struggle from. So, yes, as you said, I'm Nancy Quinn, and previously Nancy Ganserkofer, which is still out there on the internet, which is why I still say it. Um, I am probably the most direct and dynamic and no-nonsense business coach to primarily interior designers and other service-based entrepreneurs that you'll ever get to talk to. I'm originally from New York. Now I live in Florida, and I kind of have that no-nonsense New York style. So I help interior designers and other service-based entrepreneurs get more profitable through online coaching, trainings, templates, uh, communication skills, and I'm a body language trainer, which really helps in communication, networking, sales, et cetera. So that's what I do, and I love to share whatever I've learned over the years because I've made a lot of mistakes, as everyone has.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

Yeah, for sure. We all have as business owners and as humans. Um, the body language thing is very interesting. I hope we get into that today in our conversation. Um okay, so let's start with the difficult situations in business. Um, I'm sure everyone can relate. Um, sometimes um it's difficult for people to do the networking. Sometimes it's difficult for them to do the advertising or the marketing. Sometimes they get caught like a deer in headlights when they're asked about their pricing. There's a lot of difficulties that business owners go through. What are some of the ones that you see the most?

SPEAKER_01 3:38

Well, I want to start out by telling you a funny story, which is kind of where I wrote a book many years ago. It's called Respond with Confidence, and it's under my old name, Nancy Gansekofer. But what I did is a true story. The opening paragraph is um when I was an art framing and accessory consultant, I was working with an interior designer to get artwork for her home. And she ended up being a very difficult client for me because she kept changing her mind. And I'm summarizing the story. So she'd say, This is how much I want to spend, and this is what I want it to look like, and these are the subject matters, and I'd give her a whole bunch and she'd come back and go, Nah, I changed my mind. I want this. So well, she changed her mind. I think we were up to four or five times. And one night I'm sitting there with my three kids, TV's on, I got my computer, because you know, entrepreneurs, we work whenever we can. Right? So I'm I see this email come in where she's changing her mind again. So I hit forward, type, do you believe this blood bleep bleep woman? I am at my wit's end with her, right? Thinking I'm forwarding it to my assistant. Send. Can you can you predict what I actually did? You hit reply. Exactly. I hit reply. It was nine o'clock at night. I did not know what to do. It was back when blackberries were first out, but regular cell phones, you couldn't recall messages. And I, my two of my kids were teenagers, one was younger, I just started screaming. I just lifted up my laptop. I went, I realized it right away, Linda. And I was like, somebody show me how to recall this message. She has a blackberry, she's gonna get this right away. It was really a poor expression of who I was at the time. I very, very rarely would get frustrated like that, but it just between the kids, being tired, whatever excuses I wanted to give myself, I made a big mistake that was gonna affect uh business relationships. So what did I do? I jumped up, ran into a private bathroom, and called her right away. I addressed it right away, rather than going overnight and waiting for her to read it. And that nerves and that rumination I was really struggling with. I just messed up. How do I solve it? So got on the phone with her, had a quick conversation, begged her to delete and not read it. I will tell you, she definitely read it because she never called me again after that. And just as an additional little fun uh addition to this story. So I'm doing a presentation in front of 120 people on Long Island eight years later, after that situation. I had already written my book. I obviously gave her a pseudonym in the book. I didn't name who it was. I walk into this presentation on Long Island where I had been hired to do it, and everyone was getting a free book. It was in all the gift bags, and there she is right in front of me, as soon as I walked in the door. Oh my God, what am I gonna do? She doesn't even know I wrote a book, probably. She doesn't know she's the opening story in the book. She may not even remember. Anyway, once again, typical me, especially after writing my book. I'm like, I'm gonna address the situation right away. I walked right up to her. I said, Hi, I'm Nancy. Do you remember me? She goes, Of course I remember you. And we cleared the air. She laughed. She said, It's okay, we all make mistakes. And it ended up being quite a pleasant night.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

What a great story. That's fantastic. Um, and the little ending is really interesting too. So um, first I want to talk about the fact that, you know, a difficult client, like especially like in the interior design business, but in a lot of businesses, the ones that they're changing their mind and they're expecting you to, you know, do more for free, you know, right? And I was actually just talking about this on another podcast episode uh that's um that just came out, um uh regarding scope of work, you know, and in when you're writing your contract, she's a lawyer and how, you know, yeah, the the it scope creep is a real thing unless everything's black and white, yes or no. Like you will you can revise this three times. After the fourth time, you will pay this much, you know, whatever. So we do have some things like that, um, that that because it is real and true that we have clients like this, even you can be the best communicator, but you might still have difficult situations in business like this. Um, I love that you nip things in the bud. Um, a lot of people are feel way too awkward, way too self-conscious. Um, it's it's too, it's almost like between two evils of being in my head all night, or the the awkwardness of showing up and and feeling like I did something wrong and I'm so sorry and I have to fess up, that it's easier for them to be in their head. Like so I think sometimes my people might even choose staying in their head versus taking action and nipping it in the bud. So I think we should talk a little bit about the that fear, that fear of addressing what's going on, especially when we make it mean more about us.

SPEAKER_01 8:49

Yes. And and honestly, my first advice is always let's decompress first. Okay. Before we like that first story, I didn't have time to decompress. I ran into the bathroom and I just tried to deal with it and look, you know, didn't handle it too well, honestly. But the second time I did, before I actually walked up to her, I did think through. I decompressed, my heart was racing. I'm like, okay, let me calm myself down first, go talk to a couple of other people, then figure out in my head, um, you know, analyze my emotions, release some emotion and some nerves by, you know, getting it out there in whatever way I could, which was talking to a friend of mine that I had there. And then think through the solution, right? As opposed to just ruminating on what the story I think that person is telling them, and I get stuck. And now days later, weeks later, months later, people live in rumination for years and years, Linda. And it's so debilitating to their emotional health, to their emotional health. Um, so analyzing your emotions, understanding them, then releasing them, and then being solution focused is kind of where I try to direct everybody initially. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Oh, yeah, that absolutely makes sense. Um, and I can tell you that in all my 17 years of doing this um as a coach, um, a lot of people, that story is their whatever story they're making up is a go-to because they don't feel good enough in some way. And then when they make a mistake, it triggers that not enoughness that they're all walking around with. And if you don't address that that I'm not enoughness, then almost anything's gonna trigger you. Um, because what happens is then when someone asks more of us or whatever, and we feel like a victim, right? The victim is there's not I I'm not good enough, there's not enough for me. Uh everything always happens to me. That's all that victim mentality all happens because people don't feel good enough and they feel like life is happening to them, business is happening to them, they're attracting these poor clients or whatever. So it's it's worth noting that it's a really important place to start is to repair that sense of worthiness. Because if you don't believe that you're worthy of being treated uh beautifully instead of poorly, then you're gonna jump to the stories in your head, and you're gonna be if you don't believe that, you're gonna be less likely to actually take this action, to approach someone with that confidence, and you won't be able to calm yourself down. So knowing, like, wait a minute, you know, like you and I both know I shouldn't be treated that way. Okay, you know. So we have to know that we're enough in order to be able to say that. Um, and then like you're saying, get get, you know, the emotion is faster than all our logic. It's just woo, it's super fast. So we do have to take that time to really what you what you're saying, take a deep breath, decompress.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

You have to decompress because if you're just acting on pure emotion, what's going to come out is not going to give you the result you're looking for. And that's where I say so. Step two is assess the situation. So the first one is decompress. Go for a walk, jump up and down, talk to somebody, do some exercise, listen to some music, shake it out, scream, cry, do whatever you have to do. And then when your brain has come down from uh a ridiculous amount of emotion, that you cannot be a good communicator when you're in that type of emotion. That's the bottom line, right? So you have to decompress first. Then you want to assess the situation and you want to say, okay, do I understand where they were actually coming from? Maybe I misunderstood the situation. Am I telling myself a story about what they're thinking when they're not actually thinking that? Right. And when it did it all start, like when did the disagreement sort of start? And then sometimes, and this is the hard part, and this is what I went through. It's okay to be wrong sometimes. Yeah. Okay. And we hate to admit it, but we have to say once in a while, we are wrong about something. And most of the time, it's from the stories we're telling ourselves. That other person must be thinking I'm too expensive. That's why they haven't responded to my proposal. Um, they must not like me and hired someone else because I haven't heard from them. All these stories you're telling yourself. How about we actually put facts and find out? That's where I literally say practically every day to at least one client, so that's the story you're telling yourself. So now let's put the facts behind it. Did they say that? Well, no. Do you know they mean that? No. So that's what you would think if it was you. But how about instead of just assumptions, which we all know what that does to people, we ask questions. We actually make the phone call, do the text, do the email. I haven't heard from you. Can I ask what's going on? And I love what some one of my clients coined the grandmother check-in. The final check-in on any follow-up is, gee, I haven't heard from you. I'm worried. Are you okay? Make it personal so that somebody can come back and go, I'm okay. And then you can have that conversation and find out what they were really thinking, not the pretend story you created.

SPEAKER_00 14:13

Right. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good point. So I love this. This reassess. Um, and one of the ways I kind of make it a little funny when I'm sharing this with people about the fact that you're telling a story instead of looking at the real facts is like two things. One is if it's, you know, you're making something up, a lot of times it's future-based, you know, they won't, right? That they're not going to. That's all in the future. And here's the thing about the future. If you can tell the future, please just tell me tomorrow's lottery numbers. Because actually, I saw that Meg Millens, it's up to one billion dollars. I went by a billboard last night. One billion. I'm like, oh my God. Okay. So if anyone can tell the future, just please give me those numbers. I will share, I promise. Uh, the second thing is you're making up a story. So if you're gonna make up a story, if you insist on making up a story, why would you make one up with a bad ending? Why don't you make one up with a happy ending? Make it a fairy tale with a happy ending. You're making it up. And when when I say those two things, it's it's very it's very reminding to people when they're head in their heads, like, wait, I'm making a story. Oh, I should make one up with a happy ending, you know.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Yes, what people don't understand is you're actually choosing what you're thinking about. You're choosing what you're thinking about, you're choosing how you're interpreting other people, all based on your own history, your own insecurities, your own brain power, right? So the only way to change it is to exercise it just like you would exercise any other muscle, muscle memory. Keep pointing out things you're grateful for. Everyone's heard this a million times, but it actually works. But when you're communicating with somebody, what if it's not that they didn't like you and that that's why they haven't connected? It's not that you were too expensive. What if it's that their dog got sick? Right. And I just didn't get to get back to you in time. I mean, think about how many days people dwell on shit. Okay. That that really doesn't affect their daily life. And all it does is ruin their life. So they're concerned, the client hasn't gotten back to me. It's been two days, it's been three days. How long should it be till I follow up? And what should I say? And what if they hired someone else? Then what should I then should I ask them why they didn't hire me? They literally go down this huge rabbit hole. Then I just say, call them and send me a message. And is everything okay? Nine and a half times out of ten, I'll get, oh my god, Nancy, thank you so much for just telling me to call them. I made up that whole story. I ruined two of my life. And it was literally their mother-in-law is sick, and they just didn't get back to me. And I'm like, there you go. Yeah, that's it. Exactly. Right? That's why after you decompress and then you assess the situation from their perspective and your perspective, then I want you to address it by picking up that phone, making the giving the text, find out the real story. And here's the kicker, and you know this one, Linda. Be a good listener. Stop staying in your head with the story you're trying to prove to yourself and reading between the lines. Actually, listen to their words. That's what they want you to know. You don't need to go digging into all the other stuff that they may be thinking because of your own insecurities. And confidence comes from actually select like um successfully doing something over and over. So, real confidence, yes, dig into why you feel that way, your past, your thought process, all that. I'm all for that. But also then take the action because the action is what's going to build your confidence. Every time you successfully do something you're afraid of, it builds that muscle.

SPEAKER_00 17:55

Yes, that's very true. I love that you've broken this down into these steps for our listeners. It's fantastic. Because you're, you know, you're in the assessment, you're talking about assess what's really going on in your head, what the truth is.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

Their head. What could have been going on in their head? Look at it from both.

SPEAKER_00 18:12

Right, from both, but also assessing what's going on in your own head. Oh, I am telling a story, I'm making it up, right? Um fear. It's all fear doing that. And again, the triggers of our own insecurities. I love that you brought that up. I like to say that everyone is looking at the world through these goggles that are all covered in schmutz. It's our own schmutz, it's our own fears and insecurities. You mentioned that, um, and you know, our own history. And so we can't help but take but it but see life like that and assume other people are seeing life the same way. And they're not, because they're seeing it through their own lens and their own goggles of their own stuff.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

Or they think the other person is completely misguided because they're not thinking the way you're thinking, right, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

Right. But we have zero control over what people think of us, our services, our pricing. We have zero control. And so, you know, to be open and honest and get to this next step, you're talking about where you're you're in action, where you're well, okay, let's go get those facts. Let's ask, let's see what's actually going on. And it's a huge fear reliever because what's going on is nine times out of ten, it's much less fearful than what you were, the story you were spinning in your head. So when you actually do it, like, oh, I guess that wasn't so bad. It wasn't so bad after all.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

It's not so bad after all. And here's a story that I've used. Uh so my oldest had a lot of issues when he was growing up. And one of the psychologists who I was working with to help me be the mom of this uh child who was having difficulties, he would say to me, observe the tornado. Don't get sucked into it, right? So my son would spin a tornado about all kinds of emotional stuff, uh, the what people were thinking and all his insecurities. And as a new mom, sometimes you get stuck in, like, oh my God, yeah, that's really terrible. And the other kids, where I started to learn to just step back, be a really good listener, hear what he had to say, his perspective, but not get sucked up into his tornado, because that's when my emotions would start spinning, also. And then I'm stuck in having to decompress, assess, and address it again rather than right from the beginning, just say it's happening. It's their tornado, it's not mine. And I'm not going to get my emotions wrapped up in it where I can no longer think clearly. So learn to be an observer and less of a vortex getting sucked into someone else's drama.

SPEAKER_00 20:47

Yeah, that's a really great point. I have a different story of how I tell that, but um, you already said it beautifully, so I won't, I won't share that. But um we to recognize that we have the power to be an observer or get sucked in. And we can choose not to get sucked in. You can look at someone and say, like a lot of times with people who are nasty, because they're nasty, there's nasty people out there, unfortunately. A, what you mentioned earlier is we don't know why they're nasty. You have no idea what's going on that person's life. It's probably not all about you at all. It probably has nothing to do with you. So can we have some compassion? Because you might have a day where it's not your best day and you couldn't be any better than nasty. This is the best that person can do in that day with what's going on in their life, their own schmutz, their own history. So even when it's someone that you care about, sometimes that they're like a wounded animal in the corner. If you go in, you're gonna get scratched and bit. So maybe you need to step back and love them from afar and and be compassionate. Say, wow, they seem to be going through something. You know, probably the best thing for me to do would be to hold a space, not get sucked in, just hold a space. Give them space and let them get.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Through their moment and let them find their way of decompressing.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

Yes, because we can't do it for other people. They won't have that skill. It's better. I love that you mentioned that. Let them find their own way.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

Yeah. Yeah. Let them go and decompress. And, you know, I have core values that I, you know, run my life by. Am I always perfect with them? No. But I also say with my company, like we have core values. You know, um, one of our, it sounds crazy, you're gonna laugh, but one of our values is no apologies in within my team. Like if my team makes a mistake or I make a mistake, I don't want to hear I'm sorry. All I want to hear is, okay, Nancy, this happened. This is how it happened, and this is how it's not gonna happen again. And I'm like, okay, good. Like, you know, the I'm sorry is just empty if you're not gonna change your behavior to change the, you know, the outcome. And I feel the same way in my own life. Like, there are times you have to say you're sorry, and I get that. But for the most part, it's I'm sorry, and this is what happened, this is why it happened, and this is what I put in place so it doesn't happen anymore. Or it's not gonna happen anymore because it's a past situation and a past system, past process, or you know, past in your life. So there's so much to communicating well with other people. And there's so many difficult situations that everyone runs into every day in their personal life and in their business life. And if you're not comfortable communicating through difficult situations, it's something I don't want you to give up on trying to learn because it is something you can learn. And as a body language trainer, you can also learn to read what people's emotions are, maybe different from what they're seeing when you're presenting contracts or whether you're networking with someone or whether what you're saying is uh distasteful to them or something that's appealing to them. There are things you can look for that will give you clues as to whether you're being received the way you want to be received.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

That's a that's beautiful thing because um a lot of times people are unaware of what they're communicating nonverbally. They they're not aware. Okay, I I know I have I could never play poker. Okay, my eyebrows, they're like they got their own minds. You know, if I if I am surprised by something, they're way up there. I have no control over my facial expressions. So I'm super readable. Um, but I'd love if you would explain, would share a little bit, just you know, before we hang up, just a little bit about um how we how we might be communicating something, so how we can notice it in others, but also recognize if we're doing if we're in a non-verbal, you know, giving a nonverbal cue we don't intend to give, you know.

SPEAKER_01 24:51

There's so many of them. Let me pick a few. Okay, so you know, first of all, eye contact is very important, right? And a lot of people are not good at it. So that's something I definitely want people to practice. But there's one little trick that's uh people love, and especially when I do this at a live event, when you're there's three different types of gazes. Okay, there's a power gaze, there's an intimate gaze, and then there's the um like the friendship gaze. I try to put it in words that people understand. The leadership or power gaze, there people do it naturally or they can learn to do it. Where when you're looking someone in the eye, you're looking them in the eye, but naturally your eyes wander, they look around, okay? If you're trying to be kind of like that friendly, I want to be your friend, I want you to like me, what you're doing is looking at their eyes and your eyes wander down towards their mouth. You know, you look at their mouth just for comprehension. But if you want to become more the leader in that environment, which could be a proposal you're presenting, you're walking into a room with a client for the first time, uh, you're you're in front of a room making a presentation or running a meeting, when you look at people, don't let your eyes wander below their eye level, wander above their eye level. So this was a triangle from eyes to mouth, okay, and this invert the triangle to eyes to forehead. The people who naturally power gaze, and if you start noticing, it's people who are leaders, managers, supervisors, people who are considered efficient tend to power gaze naturally. And intimate gaze is for your intimate life, and that's your eye level all the way down to like the nape of your neck, right? That's when you're a romantic partner. So business. Um, so switching your gaze and practicing it is a game changer when it comes to sales. It's a game changer. You will sell more if you're selling in person for sure, and even on video, there's tricks where you are considered the leader. When I walk into a room for a networking event, I'm often later being asked, would you like to run a committee? Would you like to be the president of it? Because I'm naturally power gazing. I had to teach myself to social gaze because I was a natural power gazer. Okay. So just creative people tend to be natural social gazers and um business people who are very business-minded tend to be natural power gazers. So you can train yourself. So watch for that. And if you want to make yourself more perceived as the leader in control of a process, try the power gaze and see how it works for you.

SPEAKER_00 27:29

Oh, what a fun tip. That's fantastic. All right, great. Okay, so I always like to ask about um, I mean, that could be your tiny tip, unless you have another tiny tip that you want to share about handling difficult situations more, you know, in alignment with our conversation today. Um I call it the tiny tip or turtle step, which is the smallest step someone will actually take uh before hitting play on the next podcast episode. Um so what would you like to share with that?

SPEAKER_01 27:59

I would like to remind everybody, it's an oldie but a goodie. Write down, use your writing skills when you need to decompress journal. Rip it up and throw it out if you have to. Type it in a private uh Word doc on your computer. Writing is so decompressing to get it all out on paper helps you relax and helps you decompress. So before you're handling any difficult conversation, do that first and make sure that you're understanding where your own mind sits before you respond to anyone.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

That's a beautiful suggestion. Writing absolutely slows us down and makes us pay attention to our thoughts and put them down on paper, and then we can read them later and say, Oh, I just needed to vent that. I just need to get that out. Um, you know, I I love the idea of we take got to take responsibility for the our own shit that's in our head. Yeah, we don't give it away to people, it's ours.

SPEAKER_01 29:00

I've told so many people, uh, well, they're like, well, what if they say this and what if they say that? And what if they are trying to prepare for the next step? And I say, How about we deal with that when it happens? Right. And you're knowledgeable enough to be able to say, Let me think about that and get back to you. You don't have to respond to people right in the moment. You can, it's okay for you as an adult to say, I'm not prepared to answer that right now. I will get back to you on that. And that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 29:27

Yes, 100%. And in difficult conversations, um, you know, I'll I'll share with my clients that, you know, when it comes to boundaries, and I we don't have time to get into all that today, um, but when you know the boundary is what you do for yourself, it's it's something for you, not about the other person, and it's certainly not about behavior modification of the other person, because that's not within your power. So it's what am I gonna do for me? So if what you're gonna do for you in a difficult situation or difficult conversation is to take it some, take a breather and go decompress, go take that five minutes and decompress. And you can communicate it, which is another important part of any boundary. If you don't communicate it, then nobody knows it's a boundary. And then the third one is you have to enforce it 100% of the time, or else it's just bitching. So we have to com we have to enforce it. And the enforcement is um I'm gonna, I'm gonna take a breather. I'm having, you know, I'm I can't think straight right now because I'm feeling emotional. I'm gonna go take a breather. And what that does beautifully is you take the breather. The other person also has to take the breather because they can't be, you know, you're taking the breather. And they're taking a cue from you that, oh, you're getting emotional, you're not thinking straight. Perhaps I'm getting emotional, I'm not thinking straight, right? And then when you come back, and like you mentioned earlier, you know, I I was wrong, or you know, I wasn't thinking straight and I wanna I want to listen more. You know, there's yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:51

Said that and let me try it again. Like maybe there was a better way I could have said that. You know, that's also an apology, right? I make sure I could have said that better and that upset you. So let's try it again.

SPEAKER_00 31:02

Yeah, but yeah. So I guess the bottom line, my little five-second tip would be give yourself some grace. Give yourself some grace. You don't need to be perfect. Um, you're you're not a victim of difficult situations. You have a lot more power and a lot more freedom and a lot more control than you think when it comes to you and your thinking and how you're going to handle it, and zero power and control over what the other person or the situation is. So, um, how you choose to respond and if you take these steps that Nancy's been sharing with us, um, it's a really easy way to remember to uh respond, and then you can respond with grace and with confidence. So, well, how beautiful. Thank you so much, Nancy, for being on Conversations Worth Your While. Um, if somebody wants a little bit more of your magic and what you got, like what can they do? How can they connect with you? What do you have?

SPEAKER_01 31:56

I would say go to my website, profitinsiderscoaching.com, and I give a free 15-minute clarity call. I think sometimes when people are in a state of either their business is not doing well, they're not working well with their boss, they're just not happy with what their professional life is doing. They need someone to talk to. That's what I'm there for. If you hop on for a clarity call, we'll have a quick 15-minute chat. And if I can help you further, I'll let you know. And if I can direct you to something that will help you, other than me, I will let you know. I'm always honest because I want to work with people who actually are a good match for me and I'm a good match for them.

SPEAKER_00 32:33

Perfect, beautiful. I will be sure to put all your information in the show notes so listeners, you can go to the show notes so you can connect with Nancy. So that's our show. I'm Linda Booker, guiding people to know their worth, to reconnect with their gifts, and to create lives that are fully aligned and deeply impactful. So if you're sensing time that it's time to bring your life into deeper alignment, you can explore what that looks like at lindabooker.com where you'll find direction and clarity and a link to book a complimentary clarity chat with me. If today's episode sparks something for you, please like it and share it and subscribe so you don't miss what's next. And then join me next week for another uplifting conversation designed to support your growth. So until next time, make sure you've made this conversation worth your while by fueling the spark that it ignited.